Beyond the fad of authenticity

The chances are that if you have picked up any personal development work this year, you would have come across the word ‘authenticity’ or some variation of it. Authenticity has been related to greater life-satisfaction, self-esteem, increased subjective wellbeing, decreased stress, higher mindfulness and lesser verbal defensiveness (1). Other emotions and states that have been associated with feeling authentic are feeling content, satisfaction, enjoyment, and affection (1). So, I can see why being authentic is something many of us are working towards.

But what does it really mean to be authentic? How do you know when you are being authentic? And what do we need to do in order to live more authentically? And for those of us that reach that Holy Grail, should we always be authentic?

Looking at the peer-reviewed literature on authenticity- there hasn’t been an agreed definition – but most commonly authenticity has been defined as ‘being true to one’s self’ and having a consistency between what we internally value and what/how we outwardly express this. Authenticity has been described as a feeling, and as self-reflective in nature (2).

But then we are left with the question- how do we know who we truly are? Here, I am tempted to go down the mind-boggling rabbit hole of outlining theories of the self, but instead I am going to talk about authenticity as a process. Briefly, there are many different theories of and debates on what is the ‘true self’, ranging from the true self being our ideal (aspired) self; the self we think we should be; the mask of our truer self, to name just few (see the reference list if you are interested in some papers providing an overview). However, I am drawn to understanding authenticity as a process, because although understanding theories of the true self are important, they do not necessarily allow us to apply this to our own journey to a more authentic life. A process on the other hand, is something that each one of us can make our own.

In his book Authentic, Stephen Joseph talks about ‘it takes courage to face up to ourselves, humility to accept what we learn about ourselves and discipline to take action’ (p.17). He draws on work by Carl Rogers, where a fundamental step to authenticity requires us to have enough self-awareness to understand ourselves and our own needs (Step 1 Self-awareness). However, he also adds in a step about humility- to me what this means is, instead of deploying tools to ‘defend’ or ‘protect’ what we find out about ourselves, this step asks us to face it and own who we are and use this knowledge to make a decision about how we really want to show up (Step 2 Evaluation). Therefore, he describes this process as not always a comfortable one, but one that gives us a huge amount ownership if we are prepared to take accountability and evaluate how we show up. The last step in the process is about how we communicate our authenticity through the actions we take (Step 3 Action). According to Rogers, part of authenticity is being able to express and communicate our needs and wants to others. Going back to the definition of authenticity above, this step is about acting and behaving in a way that is aligned with how we want to show up.

So what do we need to do in order to be more authentic in life? You probably knew this already, but there is no magic formula to being more authentic- authenticity is individual, and requires building self-knowledge, self- awareness, being prepared to self-evaluate and working out strategies that can help you be more authentic, based on your own definition and how you want to feel. However, although research in authenticity remains sparse, there is some evidence (1), which consistently indicate that perceived authenticity in a given situation tends to co-occur with satisfying our needs for self-esteem, autonomy, competence, relatedness and pleasure. In other words, situations where people tend to describe feeling most authentic are also situations where they describe feeling closer to their ideal selves; situations where they act in alignment with their true beliefs; situations where they have felt competent and capable; have felt able to reject external influence (e.g. opinions); have felt connected with others, by acting in an open, honest, and agreeable way (irrespective of their natural tendencies); and have felt inspired, enthusiastic, excited.

Should we always be authentic? I recently read an article on “How being less authentic can unlock your leadership potential” and found it very refreshing and thought-provoking amongst the sea of articles advocating for authenticity. However a couple of important points stuck with me and would like to explore them briefly.

Firstly, does being authentic mean being your true, unfiltered self? Having looked at the peer-reviewed research, being authentic is actually closer to us having an ideal version of ourselves and acting according to that, as opposed to acting in an unfiltered, say whatever comes to mind manner. However, the above point brings to light a very important aspect of authenticity- the reasons authenticity can be/feel so tricky at times is because it brings about internal tension between different areas we may find important. For example, between our unfiltered self, our ideal self and the self that is trying to meet everyone else’s needs. Therefore, for me part of being our authentic self is exploring how we manage these tensions in our everyday lives and whether these strategies bring us closer to how we want to feel.

Second, I have come across a lot of social media posts recently on being fake, as opposed to being authentic. I would like to challenge this. From research, we know that the opposite of authenticity is just being inauthentic- yes, this can mean putting on a mask (acting fake), but it can also mean simply not knowing who we are, what our values and beliefs are, and if we don’t know these we cannot choose to communicate these effectively and consistently. This latter scenario is not the same as being fake. I would argue that we all, at one stage or another, go through periods of being inauthentic. I would also argue that the step of evaluating and re-evaluating, is the key to understanding what feels authentic to us. Furthermore, what good is being authentic if you are not prepared to evolve (a point also made by the article above)? This brings about another tension we face in our pursuit of a more authentic life, that between being authentic and personal growth. I believe that authenticity does not need to be something which keeps us anchored to certain way of being, but instead can be a dynamic process, which is reflective of us changing and growing as individuals. So to go back to my original question- should we always be authentic is the wrong questions. A more useful question to me would be- what are the qualities that are important to me that help me manage this tension more effectively. For me personally, approaching authenticity and self-discovery from a place of curiosity and humility offers a bridge between these tensions. However, the chances are for you this might be something different.

If you enjoyed this article, please share it with someone else who may like it. For more content you can follow me on LinkedIn (Giouliana Kadra-Scalzo); Instagram @mind.charge; or can subscribe to my newsletter.

References

(1) Lenton et al (2013) Journal of Personality, 81:3

(2) Vannini and Franzese (2008) Sociology Compass 2/5, 1621-1637.

(3) Stephen Joseph, Authentic- how to be yourself and why it matters (2016)

(4) “How being less authentic can unlock your leadership potential”

(5) Wood et al (2008) Journal of Counselling Psychology, 55 (3), 385-399.